Be a Proton

It’s a fearful task to start the first post of 2020, with the core theme of fear! But nevertheless, there has to be a moment when I put a period on the ever lingering fearful feeling. I dread doing so many things, and it’s my fear which always prevents me from taking that first step towards the unknown. This post is actually a celebration of fear, the power it yields, and the pressure it creates on all of us! This is the single most important factor which had prohibited me to become a proton.

This New Year, let’s pledge to “Be a Proton”

I am walking, and I have that fear that I will fall.

I am sipping the morning cuppa, and I have that fear that my morning routine will be disturbed.

I am getting down the stairs, and I have that inkling that I will twist my feet.

I don’t drive, because I have the fear of crashing the car.

I ache my legs by following my kids during big gatherings, because I fear (I even fear talking about that fear).

I don’t talk clearly about the salary raise, because I fear that this will not be received in a good light.

I don’t express what I crave to eat at that moment, as I fear to be ridiculed for my choice.

I hesitate in communicating about a promotion, because I am not confident if I am ready for it.

I fear solitude as I mistake it for loneliness.

This underlying fear behind every step, every breath pulls me backward by 100 miles every second. Now why this fear keeps on gripping me. Is it because of:

1. Lack of Confidence

2. Series of mishappenings

3. Loved ones who have turned into critics

4. High expectations from oneself

5. Avoiding ridicule (and maybe more reasons which I have not yet discovered)

No matter what’s the reason, but logically in the first place my fears should not be driving my life and my decisions. It sounds easy but trust me it’s a tough nut to crack. How to instill the positive vibes for everything when a while ago I was looking at everything with negative lens.

Face your fears, understand the underlying cause and don’t fear your fear. I am aiming for a proton”ic” life every day by practising gratitude. I am practising on how to change the fear filled conversation with a one which is full of mindfulness and thanking everything which is surrounding me at that particular moment.

And with the present situation in which we are in, this is much more than needed.

The world will be a wonderful place to live in when all around you is a powerful proton”ic” force.